


Loss

by NixTheLapin47



Series: Kallura One-Shots [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Can be seen as romantic or platonic, F/M, Galra Keith, Gen, Keith angst, Keith's Mother - Freeform, Keith's Past, Loner Keith, Post Season 4, SHEITH - Freeform, allura talks about alphor, allura tries to help, black lion - Freeform, both are mentioned - Freeform, broganes, doesnt say how he died, kallura, keith cries, keith is hiding, keith is mourning, keith was a foster kid, keith's father - Freeform, mentions of Galra Keith, no lotor sorry, others are mentioned - Freeform, sad keith, shiro is dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 02:40:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13649727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NixTheLapin47/pseuds/NixTheLapin47
Summary: Shiro is dead and Keith is struggling to cope. Allura does what she can to help him through it.





	Loss

It had been a week since Shiro died.

 

Everyone was still in shock; it was hard for them to believe that the black paladin was dead. Sure, he had disappeared on them several times before, but he always came back in the end. Not this time though.

 

They were handling it as well as they could, but Keith was another story. He was closest to Shiro out of all of them, and he clearly wasn’t taking it well.

 

After Shiro di- after it happened, Keith was brought back from the Blades so that he could pilot Black. Kolivan was very understanding of the situation and immediately relieved Keith of his Blade duties. This didn’t help Keith’s state in the slightest. He was forced into the position once before, and now it was happening again under worse circumstances.

 

The other paladins and Coran made several attempts at comforting him, none of them ending successfully. Whenever one of them tried to help him, he would just snap at them, pushing them away from him and yelling at them to go away. He spent most of his time hiding in his room. After a while, he stopped trying to cope with training; it was too open, making it easy for the others to find him to try and talk about Shiro.

 

It wasn’t easy for any of them, trying to accept that he was actually gone, but they had a duty to protect the universe from the Galra. That may sound harsh, but he couldn’t sulk forever; they don’t have that luxury. Allura knew this. She understands what he’s going through more than anyone else (aside from Coran). It may be difficult, no, nearly impossible for him to accept, but she knew that he would have to at least move on enough to be there for his team. They needed him, now more than ever. She stood in front of Keith’s room, nervously staring at his closed door. She was prepared to get a face full of angry remarks, but she was determined; her family was in pain and she had to help him. Lifting a hand, she knocked on the metal doors.

 

“Keith?”

 

No answer.

 

“Keith?” she repeated.

 

“May I come in? I’d like to speak with you.”

 

Still no answer.

 

Well that was odd. Normally, he would tell them to go away or to stop bothering him; the silent treatment was certainly new.

 

She tried knocking again. Once again, she was answered with silence. Now she was getting worried.

 

“Keith, I’m coming in!”

 

She forced the door open and rushed inside. She swiveled her head around the dark room, expecting to find a sulking paladin. But she never found one.

 

The room was empty. Allura began to panic. Where was he? He rarely left his room, even to get food, which one of the paladins, usually Hunk, would leave for him at his door.

 

She ran out of the room to search for him, alone; there was no need to alert the others. Keith was already against being around everyone beforehand. That would be far from changing if he was hiding from them now.

 

The first place she looked what the training room. It was common knowledge that he trained fairly often. She had always assumed it was just to blow of steam or pass the time. But there was still so much she didn’t know about him.

 

To her dismay, the room was completely empty. Now the guessing began. She wondered if this was anything like that Earth game Lance kept talking about… hide and seek? Though she doubted humans ever played it in such dire circumstances.

 

She wandered all over the castle, often rechecking rooms in case he was moving around as she was. Did he know that she was looking? Was he running from her?

 

~~~

 

After vargas of countless searching, Allura almost ran out of ideas. _Almost_.

 

She entered the bridge, hoping to use the surveillance set up around the castle. In hindsight, she probably should have started with this. Stepping onto her platform, she opened several screens that showed the video feed throughout the castle. Flipping through the screens, she gazed as empty hallways and rooms that haven’t been used in decaphoebs. She decided to avoid looking into the other paladins’ rooms; who knows what she might accidentally spy in on.

 

Next, she moved onto the lions’ hangars. It was a long shot, but she was running out of options. Besides, Pidge was known to spend an awful lot of time in Green’s.

 

Five screens popped up in front of her, each showing one of the lions.

Red… nothing.

Blue… nothing.

Green… well Pidge _was_ in there, but no Keith.

Yellow… nothing.

Black…

Allura was about to close the screens when something caught her eye. Near the front wall, she spotted something small sticking out at the edge of the screen against the floor. She couldn’t see enough of it to make it out, but it was as good of a lead as she was going to get. Once the screens were shut down, she marched out of the bridge and set out towards Black’s hangar.

 

~~~

She slowly walked into the hangar, bracing for disappointment of Keith’s absence. Her eyes darted around the hangar, finding nothing at first, but a small dark figure caught her eye against the light silver wall.

 

Keith was sitting against it, curled up with his head in his knees. His arms were crossed, covering nearly all of his face. Nearly. Peeking out from them was a violet eye, staring right at Allura. She froze, feeling like a stalked animal, despite her being the one seeking him out. But she shook away her uneasiness and took a step forward towards Keith.

 

He flinched, almost noticeably, as if he was surprised she was still coming to him. Untucking his head from his arms, he straightened himself out, but remained sitting. The entire time that Allura treaded over, he stared at her with a hardened expression. Perhaps if he did it long enough, she would leave. To his dismay, she continued on.

 

“Allura, I really don't need a lecture right now,” he said to her firmly.

 

She stopped a few steps away from him.

 

“I know.”

 

Her answer surprised him. His eyes widened as he dropped his visage, his mouth gaping slightly open.

 

Without saying anything else, she sat down next to him against the wall’s cool metal. She looked straight ahead, avoiding Keith’s gaze, but secretly peaked at him out of the corner of her eye.

 

She saw Keith turn away back to his knees. Still, she kept looking forward. She knew that she needed to talk to Keith about it, but it was easier said than done. This was the first time she had seen him like this, curled up, vulnerable. His wall that he had always kept up was still there, but she could tell that it was breaking. She could see how he felt clearly; it was almost too easy.

 

She turned her attention the Black Lion, trying to keep herself from dwelling on it too much. That plan immediately failed when she began to wonder why he was in Black’s hangar. Was it because of Shiro? Did he think that they’d never look there because of how he reacted to becoming it’s new paladin? The questions swirled in her mind. How she wished to say something, to be the one to speak first, at least to break the deafening silence. Fortunately, Keith did it for her.

 

“How do y- how did-” he stuttered.

 

Allura turned her head, looking intently at Keith. His lips were parted, revealing gritting teeth as he struggled to get out what he had to say. His hands were clenched around his sleeves, his fingers teasing the red and white fabric. He closed his lips and swallowed.

 

He tried again, “How did you cope? When you found out that your dad was dead?”

 

Allura mouth fell open and inhaled sharply.

 

He shifted his head slightly and turned his eyes to her. They stared into her, begging for an answer. His breathing had quickened, short breaths coming in and out through his mouth, making the only noise in the large room.

 

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

 

“Well,” she said slowly. “I guess… I just tried to not focus on it. When I found out, the five of you had come with the blue lion. We had to find the rest of the lions and form Voltron. I convinced myself that that was more important; because Zarkon had killed my father, and my planet, I felt immediate anger towards the Galra. So I put all my energy into fighting them, rather than mourning.”

She paused to look back at Keith, who was still in the same position as before.

“That didn’t completely take away my sadness, but it made it a bit easier to deal with,” she continued. “Not to mention I had his AI. Back when it was still active, I spoke with him often.” She smiled at the fond memory. “Because part of him was still there, it seemed as if he wasn’t dead, like Zarkon had never killed him. It may not have been real, but I was convinced enough.”

 

Keith only blinked. This wasn’t quite the response that he was hoping for. He turned his eyes back to his knees and sunk his chin behind his folded arms.

 

“At least I was until Sendak infected the system. That’s when it really hit me.”

 

He glanced back at her, chin still tucked.

 

“Because his entire system was corrupted, I had to take it out. It wasn’t him, but it felt like I had killed him myself. When I was there… I could see his memories. Every single one just swarmed around me. Then… he was gone.” She felt her throat closing, making it difficult for her to say anymore, but she did anyway. “I couldn’t talk to him anymore. I couldn’t see him. And I couldn’t pretend anymore. He was gone.”

 

She finished her sentence, and waited. She wasn’t quite sure what for though.

 

“My dad died when I was little,” Keith said quietly, almost inaudible.

 

This news shocked Allura. She hadn’t really heard much about the paladin’s lives on Earth. Other than Pidge, who she had only heard about because of her search for her brother and father. He lifted his head out of its hiding spot before continuing.

 

“I was only a few years old when it happened, so I’ve been on my own most of my life.”

 

“You didn’t have anyone to take care of you?” Allura immediately bit her tongue.

 

“Well, I did, but I didn’t have any other family, so I was put into the foster system. The families I went to mostly seemed to care about their own, so I didn’t really fit in the picture.”

 

“Wh- what about your mother?” That, too, she immediately regretted asking.

 

“Never met her,” he answered simply. “My dad never spoke about her either, probably because she was Galra.”

 

Allura flinched at the word. _Of course_ he had never met her. How could she be so stupid? Why did she even ask? She was supposed to be helping him; what part of this was helping?

 

_At least he was talking to her…_

 

“Shiro was the only one I could really call family.”

 

Allura’s eyes widened. He was finally talking about “the elephant in the room,” as she had heard one of the paladins say.

 

“I didn’t really have friends growing up,” he continued. “Even at the Garrison; I kept myself away from other people. I guess I was scared? My mom left, my dad died, my foster families didn’t care much. Shiro was the only one who I could really connect with. But he disappeared too.”

He sniffed and lowered his head, covering his face with his bangs.

 

“When he first disappeared on the Kerberos mission, they reported that he was dead, but I didn’t believe it, so I left. It was fine after I found him, but then he disappeared again. I lost him twice. But he came back both times.”

 

He stifled a sob. Allura could see tears through the gaps in his hair.

 

“I couldn’t lose him, not again.” He brought a hand over his eyes. “But I did. And I thought- I thought that he would just come back at first. Like he did before, like he always did.” The tears were pouring now. “But he’s not. He’s not coming back- not this time,” he said between sobs.

 

Allura wanted to say something, to comfort him, to stop his pain. But what could she say? What could she possibly say to make him feel better?

 

She leaned over and wrapped her arms around him, saying nothing as he cried. When she touched him, he flinched, but didn’t pull away as she expected him to. Instead, he leaned into the embrace, turning to put his head on her shoulder. He clasped his hands around her lower back, returning her hug. He cried out into her neck, his raspy voice echoing around them in the hangar.

 

As he soaked her shoulder with his tears, she held him tighter, to let him know that he was safe in her arms. She brought one of her hands up to his head and brushed through his hair with her fingers. It was what her mother used to do for her whenever she was upset; perhaps it would help Keith, who never had a mother to comfort him in this way.

 

Her eyes began to water, so she shut her eyes to prevent any tears. She would not allow herself to cry. Keith needed her right now. She couldn’t help him if she was crying herself.

 

Keith continued to cry into her neck, showing no signs of stopping. But that was okay; Allura wasn’t going anywhere.

 

She promised herself that she would never leave him.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow... that was hard to write... but I had fun with it! I was talking about season 5 with someone I met on YouTube and they brought up the idea of Shiro's death. I didn't (and still don't) consider it a possibility but the idea was interesting to me. So.. here we are. 
> 
> This is my first voltron fic so I hope y'all enjoyed!
> 
> More one shots to come later!


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